The indoor soccer bleachers are a great place for me to get my weekly fix of some very favorite parent friends. Today, my friend Kathryn told me about “Does It Matter?” – something her son learned from his 6th grade teacher.
She gave an example of how her son, during a game of kick-ball, got hit in the back with the ball after he was out. When someone is out, they are off-limits. Injustices upset him. In fact, he got so mad that he threw the ball hard, almost hitting another player. Then he walked around the block four times, trying to let it go.
These are the questions he has learned to ask himself:
- Does it Matter? In the scheme of things, how big is this event? Will it really matter in 5 minutes? in an hour? tomorrow?
- Can I Let it Go? Can I make the choice to let this pass? Is this something I don’t need anymore?
- Will I Let it Go? How serious am I about committing to this action? What will be the cost if I don’t let it go?
- Did I Let it Go? Once I’ve made the commitment, this is a chance to check back in later and make sure I’m not harboring any left-over emotions around this event.
How great that he is asking these questions now.
They serve as a great pattern-interrupt. Pattern-interrupts can help break habits, especially ones that don’t serve us well.
In addition, this is a great practice for future, bigger events. The more he practices, the shorter those block walks will get.
As for me, I just hit my head – HARD – on the kitchen cabinet door. Time to ask myself those questions and not take it out on someone who left the door open. Ooops – on reflection, that would be me. 🙂
Xoxo love it
I was 45 when I first learned a version of this. It was from a business speaker that asked if what we were doing in our business would matter in 2 minutes, 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, and/or 2 years. He said to focus on the stuff that will matter in 2 years and the rest will take care of itself.
I think this young man has a great start with a teacher like that.