What if you can’t draw? My husband would say that this is not his skill set. But he CAN draw stick figures. Anyone can make a stick figure. And just the idea of having a common reference point that you label something can help your child. Maybe your child is in the habit of falling to the floor, kicking and screaming when something doesn’t go their way. You can draw a very simple figure and tell your child that’s them.
3. Channel the Aggressive Behavior
We knew my son still liked to bang on things with sticks so we got him a new kids drum. We went on walks in the forest and banged on trees. When he got a little older, he learned to spin the diabolo (Chinese yo-yo) with two sticks. That made him really happy. Now he plays African drums, raps continuously, and creates drum machine beat boxes.
Review
1. Draw the child’s behavior that’s not working.
2. Draw the child’s behavior you want to see.
3. Have a short discussion, as few words as possible, about the behavior.
4. Use the Rule of Three, to remind the child, fairly close to when the event is likely to occur.
5. Find an appropriate channel for the aggressive behavior.
Not Just For Littles
Before children can really understand the world through words, visually creating an image for them can be powerful. Even older kids can benefit. The other day, my son, now 11, was on a roll of asking for sugar. He was persistent and I was tired of navigating the yes’s and no’s. I drew a picture of him with a mouthful of candy, looking unhealthy, overweight, and tired. Then, I said, “You decide.” He laughed and got a piece of fruit.
This from a Facebook user regarding this post:
“Makes me wonder if children are more visual than verbal in many instances…hey, dogs can be that way too and so can adults.” – Sandy
My response:
I appreciate your comment, Sandy. Often there is a cultural overemphasis on language with young children. I think that even aural and verbal learners can benefit from this additional tool as it can help focus a teaching moment. All types of learners are attracted to picture books which can help make connections with the real world. Even better than line drawings for the 1-3 age would be iconic pics (photographs) to help with imitation if possible. (pics of themselves would be so cool!) The drawings were a bridge for my son between the real world experience and language.
This is really good! It cuts right through the abstraction of words! Another thing I learned a long time ago to help reduce some undesirable behaviors was, if practical, to channel the behavior by trying to substitute an alternate behavior “real-time”, so to speak. So in this case, had the drawing not worked: say if the child had not been able to resist the his preference for drum heads with hair on them 🙂 , substituting a tambourine might help. Or it might not, but bongo drums might – it depends on the individual. But if something appropriate can be substituted to fill the ‘hole’ left by NOT doing something, it can help.
I suppose it might be argued that children should “know better” than to hit other kids, so they shouldn’t need a substitute behavior… but not by me :-).
Increase your child's cooperation - yes, even at an early age - and build their 3R's Self (respectful, responsible, and reliable) from the inside. Overcome the pitfalls and traps that drive parents when trying to get their child to change behaviors. Learn tools that really work and take away a blueprint to make parenting easier and your family connections stronger.
This from a Facebook user regarding this post:
“Makes me wonder if children are more visual than verbal in many instances…hey, dogs can be that way too and so can adults.” – Sandy
My response:
I appreciate your comment, Sandy. Often there is a cultural overemphasis on language with young children. I think that even aural and verbal learners can benefit from this additional tool as it can help focus a teaching moment. All types of learners are attracted to picture books which can help make connections with the real world. Even better than line drawings for the 1-3 age would be iconic pics (photographs) to help with imitation if possible. (pics of themselves would be so cool!) The drawings were a bridge for my son between the real world experience and language.
What do you think?
This is really good! It cuts right through the abstraction of words! Another thing I learned a long time ago to help reduce some undesirable behaviors was, if practical, to channel the behavior by trying to substitute an alternate behavior “real-time”, so to speak. So in this case, had the drawing not worked: say if the child had not been able to resist the his preference for drum heads with hair on them 🙂 , substituting a tambourine might help. Or it might not, but bongo drums might – it depends on the individual. But if something appropriate can be substituted to fill the ‘hole’ left by NOT doing something, it can help.
I suppose it might be argued that children should “know better” than to hit other kids, so they shouldn’t need a substitute behavior… but not by me :-).
What if you child is not listening to what you are saying.